If you were to ask her about regret, she would’ve shrugged and nonchalantly threw the word ‘nothing’ in thin air. But what you don’t know about her is that sometimes, she loses herself thinking about “what could’ve been.” And if you decide to ask her what that is—
She’d look straight into your eyes and mutter, “You ‘ve been here twenty-six years; I hate having been in it for six.”
And although she’s aware that six years isn’t the end of it, she still wishes to have come earlier. Early—as you, knowing nothing but everything that is her.
She daydreams about what it would’ve felt like to meet you before you’d known heartache. Would it have been different? Would she have been the one to break you? Or, would you still have tried so hard to love each other enough to heal the scars of the past?
She thinks about what you would’ve felt if you’d learned nothing but her lips, called nothing but her name, stared at nothing but her eyes. Would it have been different? Would you have still held her tight as if you were scared that, at any moment, she could slip off your grip.
She dreams about where you could’ve been now if she’d come knocking on your door a year or two earlier than six years. Would it have been different? Would you have still felt lucky to find her?
She knew too well that these things didn’t matter, never before, not now. And, it’s not like she lingers in these thoughts to hurt herself. She just couldn’t help but wish. Not about wanting to be the only love you had known, but she wishes for you to have felt her embrace a little longer than six years. Or for you to have felt what it’s like to be held by arms that have truly adored you for more than just six years.
But part of her also thinks there wouldn’t have been a far better time for you to meet. That six years ago, as if fated, you both were in the same existence at the perfect time. And in those moments, she knew she couldn’t ask for more.
Although she mourns for the years that have gone by, wasted because you weren’t in her life, she’s still grateful. Even beyond thankful for the fact that she could spend more than just six years of whatever realm this is, with you.
August 24, you are her reminder of how the past has written a future for her. A reminder, that 27 years ago, all stars must have aligned for her, for a soul as extraordinary as you are to have been born. So extraordinary, that she’ll wish for nothing more but for that soul to spend a life more than just six years with her.
27 years later, she realized how meaningful August 24 had become for her; it was when the love carefully perfected for her was born.
Love, here’s to the seventh year of your many years of existence I get to be a part of. Happy 27th Birthday!